Thank You Mom!!

This post is a little different as it’s a very special  shout out to my one and only precious Momma for the most amazing and most thoughtful gift!!

I’ve had several people throughout the years who have voiced their desire to get me something special as a remembrance of a baby we’ve lost. But no one knows what to get. The usual gifts prove challenging in my situation so everyone is at a loss. Well this year my mom absolutely NAILED it!!!

Giving and receiving gifts is #5 (out of 5) of my personal Love Languages (Get the book “The Five Love Languages” and read it – LIFE CHANGING!!). I’m not good at giving gifts and while everyone loves receiving a gift, gifts don’t always communicate to me what they are supposed to.  We all know that when a gift is given, the giver is trying to express some form of love through the gift given. Unfortunately, this is often lost on me, not because I’m a jerk and don’t care, it just doesn’t speak to me. My personal Love Language is Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service. So if you want to express your love to me, send me hand written card with words from heart or come to my house and wash my dishes!!

This past Mother’s Day, I was given a gift that totally spoke my language!! Before we get to that, let me give you a little background history so you’ll fully grasp the significance of this gift. Or you can check out the semi-unabridged version here: My Joyful Journey

Abridged version: Over the past nine years, our little family has been blessed with an amazing little boy, but we’ve also lost eight babies through miscarriage. Each one has been devastating to us and our extended family. We all wish we had the answer and everyone wishes they could do something, anything to fix it and/or ease the pain. Unfortunately, there is no explanation and there’s nothing to be done.

My mom never had a miscarriage or suffered with infertility. She’s never lived it first hand, but she’s been by my side every step of my journey through infertility and loss. She can’t empathize and doesn’t even try to, but she does sympathize. Plus, these are her grand babies that have been lost. I know many times she’s felt helpless watching me go through it all, and I know that if she could do anything, she would. Well, she did and I absolutely love it!!

On this Mother’s Day 2017, just over 3 weeks after miscarriage #8, my momma gave me a gift to remember all my kids with. It’s simple and by many people’s account it’s plain, definitely nothing fancy. So it’s the perfect gift for me as I’m pretty simple, plain, and far from fancy. Ok, so here’s the gift: a small silver tag dangling from a silver chain with 9 tiny footprints engraved on it – the perfect, most beautiful reminder of . each time my womb held life within it.

I know this  wasn’t an easy thing to come up with. Easy would be something with their names, but only four have names; birthstones, but do you go with the stone of their due date or the day they were “born”; pinks and blues for boys and girls, but five are unknown to us. You see, all the traditional “Mother” jewelry ideas get complicated in my situation. Footprints, teeny tiny footprints, those say baby in the most precious, sweetest way. Footprints are an impression left when someone passes by. They are a mark that are left and remain long after the person is gone. Each of my nine kids has left a footprint on my heart that will never fade. I may not be able to give them a name while I’m on this earth, I will probably never know all of their genders, but I will always remember the joy they brought me knowing life was growing within me, hearing and seeing their hearts beating on the ultrasound, and watching them flip and kick and suck their thumbs on the ultrasounds. They are the footprints that have shaped who I am. Each one has taught me more than I ever could have imagined about this life.

Thank you Mom for this amazing gift!!! thank you for not forgetting my children that are absent from this world. Thank you for understanding that I will never forget them.